A couple of weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to say goodbye to my grandpa Glenn just hours before he passed away. He had been in the nursing home for many years, and though it is hard to see him go, it is comforting to know that he lived a full life, he is no longer hindered by the physical handicaps brought on by his stroke, and he is in heaven in the presence of God now.
Losing Mark hit me like a ton of bricks. The feeling is different. Since I knew the end was near with my grandpa, I was able to spend time with him before the end. There was peace with sending him on. The last time I saw Mark was a few weeks ago when I was substitute teaching at Zion-Benton. The class I was with went to music each day, and that day they were with Mark. Mark, as always, had his kind and friendly spirit with the kids, and they watched Toy Story 3. Tuesday morning, as far as I knew, everything was fine. My mom let me know that Mark was gone, and just like that, my reality was changed. There would be no more "What up, EB?" from down the hall at Zion-Benton, and no discussions about how life was going.
Life is finite. In a sobering way, this reminder has been a constant on my dad's side of the family. Mark is the third one in my generation to pass away. My cousin Erin Ashmore, who was about a year older than me, passed away when I was in Junior High. Heather Buntrock, my second cousin who was 4 years older than me, passed away while I was in college, Mark, another second cousin, was 8 years older than me.
It is this reality that splits my emotions. The sadness in losing these two people who were formative in my life (Grandpa being very active in my life until the stroke, and Mark being my band director my senior year at Zion) will be there, because two family members where were a real part of my life are no longer there. Even so, my emotional split doesn't relate to this sadness, but instead the split of emotion comes with the joy of salvation for those who are in Christ, and the overwhelming sadness and conviction of that need for those who are not.
Everything I know about Mark and Grandpa point to the conclusion that they had saving faith in Christ, and I will see them again in heaven. I don't know their hearts, but God does, and I know their faith is in His hands. This is a comforting reality for me. I love the thought that I will see them again, but more important to me is that they get to worship God fully in His awesomeness. I'm a little jealous of this (in a good way), and anticipate joining them someday. When Grandpa died Philippians 1:21-23 was very meaningful for me. "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better." The reality is that they in a far better place then I am. While it is sad to know they are gone, the combination of knowing that they are in a better place and knowing that those who are in Christ will join them is a source of joy and anticipation.
"I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin has been a huge encouragement to me on this front:
Even so, the stark reality of death is that those who are not in Christ do not have this happy ending. And death is final in these cases. With Mark, and my other cousins, the reminder was that you never know when others are going to die, and that you don't know when you are going to die. This gives me both the conviction to share the gospel with those who need it, and to be faithful with the limited time I have on earth. Philippians 1 continues in verse 24: "But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again." My hope and prayer is that my heart would be like Paul's, and that my life would point others toward Jesus Christ.
Our culture encourages ambiguity on faith issues. The Bible isn't ambiguous. For those who dismiss the Bible as false, I would encourage them to read and consider The Reason for God by Tim Keller, and/or listen to Pastor Mike Bullmore's sermon about the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Many people have a hard time embracing that the Bible is true. If this is true of you, I would encourage you to consider that honestly exploring whether the Bible is true or not and whether Jesus Christ is who He says He is are a worthwhile investment of your time. It might change your life.
If you do believe that the Bible is true, or are at least open to it, read through Romans. In the meantime, consider the following from Scripture:
"None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one." - Romans 3:10-12
"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." - Romans 3:23
"Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned" - Romans 5:12
"Then I saw a great white throne and him who was seated on it. From his presence earth and sky fled away, and no place was found for them. And I saw the dead, great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done. And the sea gave up the dead who were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead who were in them, and they were judged, each one of them, according to what they had done. Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And if anyone’s name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire." - Revelation 20:11-15
"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:6-9
"The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart" (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. For the Scripture says, "Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame." For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." - Romans 10:8-13
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace." - Romans 8:1-6
"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:1-10
God's mission that was accomplished through Christ was that sinners had a way to a restored relationship with God and would be saved from eternal death into eternal life. Side by side with this truth in the text is the clear message that those who don't place their faith in Christ will eternally perish. This is sobering, but the clear message that through faith in the promises of God, through repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, we can have a restored relationship to God and receive the gift of eternal life with God. Jesus gives life, both now and forevermore. I hope that these passages are encouraging and thought provoking to you wherever you are.
I am sad to say goodbye to Mark and Grandpa. But I trust God that I'll see them again, and I hope that their passing points others to Christ.
God is eternally faithful. I was privileged to say goodbye to Grandpa at his funeral. Mark, I'm glad I was your (second) cousin and you were my band director. I'll miss the friendship we had, and I'll miss the opportunity to walk life with you in the future. You sir, are the man. I anticipate seeing you again in the presence of God as we worship Him and sing together in His choir.
I'll close my thoughts with "It is Well," a good reminder to me today.
